Dating in academia intercultural dating in america
Even at the beginning of the year, there's a real cognitive dissonance about applying to jobs while simultaneously cultivating a new relationship.- Lots of otherwise nice men and women have a chip on their shoulder about education, making it slightly difficult to meet new people.Not a dating anecdote, but before I moved here I was talking with a potential roommate looking for 2 roommates for a 3 bedroom.- I'm used to the cycle of excitement, critical examination, and reconsideration, and my accuracy anticipating rejection has improved immensely. - The cities with good dating are great places to live.- No two body problem, and I can proudly declare that on dates if it comes up. - Within the constraints of the dating cities, I can make the decision which is best for my career, and don't have to accept a lesser job for someone else.Perhaps, dare it be said, the longer you remain in academia the greater the chances are that your dating behaviour fossilises within your disciplinary speciality.In fact, the ever-increasing wave of students and teachers turning to online dating could be a result of the characterof dating in academia.A primary school teacher or librarian could reasonably screen people by their grammar, but for a Ph D to do so, it's regarded as snobbery.There are some good facets of dating while on the job search. Every week, I have hour-long appointments with at least one stranger per week, and my social skills have gotten good enough that I almost always connect with my interviewer or date, even if it's not a match. - Academia gives me a way to meet new people in a new city and bond with them, even in totally different fields.
Tenure committees have adjusted to this reality, gradually: though I found it interesting that when faculty were offered allowance for parental leave, no women took it, just a few men, presumably because women didn't want to be perceive as taking advantage of their gender.
- Frequent travel especially for long periods introduces discontinuities into relationships: I don't know if my most recent relationship would have turned out differently if I hadn't spent 3 weeks away (with only a couple short returns in that interval) after two weeks of fantastic dating; at the very least, we could have figured out sooner that it wasn't a match rather than a month of limbo.
- The feeling of impermanence means that it's difficult to initiate relationships in the last few months of a stay anywhere, and yet too early to start looking in the new place, so that time is generally wasted, and the first month is spent getting set up and oriented and figuring out how to meet new people.
Irrespectively, it's still a bit lonely when I'm among academics and realize that I'm the only single, which happens increasingly often, even with people a step or two younger than I, like graduate students or god-help-me freshly-graduated post-college RAs.
Dating in academia is riddled with potholes, the most immediate of which is do not stray far from your academic discipline.